If you have recently discovered you are pregnant, chances are that you are experiencing one of the most terrifying rollercoaster rides of your life. Between well-intentioned family members and the horror stories from complete strangers, it’s quite understandable that you might have been terrified to hear of a few of the potential horrors of pregnancy.
Pregnancy horror stories you are likely to hear include;
Your body will never be the same again
Sure, it’s often the subject of great hilarity on sitcoms, but there’s nothing funny about post-baby weight to the many millions of women who struggle to get rid of it.
Rest assured that a significant proportion of women go on to regain their figures; with some even saying they look better than they did before! Sure, it will require great dedication and every ounce of extra energy you might have, but you can get your pre-baby body back, and more!
You might harm your baby through some “everyday” activity
Pregnant women are especially vulnerable to the possibility that they might be harming the baby by engaging in some activity; eating certain foods or doing certain things. Pregnancy books and websites are of little help in this regard, as you can find mention of pretty much anything if you look long enough!
Rest assured that unless your doctor has specifically mentioned something as risky (i.e. smoking, drinking, consuming crack or sushi) it’s probably quite safe and harmless.
Sex will never feel as good again
For coupes with an active sex life before baby, these myths can be the most terrifying. What if he won’t be able to look at you the same way again after seeing little Junior emerging from your loins in the harsh fluorescent hospital light? What if your nether regions lose feeling or shape?
While this might be true to some extent, going through pregnancy and birth and the creation of a human being together makes for an intense emotional connection that is quite unlike anything. Pregnancy will bring your sex life to a new, deeper level. Be diligent about your Kegels and it might even be better than before!
It’s important to keep in mind that women have been having babies for many thousands of years, and if it were really such a horrific experience, the human race would be extinct by now.
Pregnancy indignities you can’t help but laugh at
Sometimes, the most graceful way to deal with an indignity is to laugh. Rest assured that with during the course of your pregnancy, you will deal with a host of indignities that will give rise to a whole new you.
People are quick to share the wonderful things that you will experience during pregnancy; they are not so quick to point out the many indignities you will go through…
Its opening night, anytime…
Sure; you might have been coy about exposing your nether regions in the past, pregnancy will all but massacre every last shred of coyness you might be harboring. By the time your baby comes out; you will have exposed yourself to more people than George Michael in a busy club, and you can only laugh at it afterwards. Through the many internal exams and false alarms you will have exposed your ladybits to the equivalent of a small country, and you can’t do anything but laugh.
You might poop on a table, in a room full of people
This is one of the most pervasive pregnancy indignity stories, and potentially every pregnant woman’s worst nightmare. For the most part, you won’t even be aware that you did, and if you are lucky, the hospital staff will be kind enough to leave you in the (dignified) dark about your procreative poop. This situation embodies the statement, “sometime’s you can only laugh”. If it makes you feel any better, many birthing women make this extra delivery during the birth process and hospital staff have seen it all before.
Your partner might never be able to look at you and your lady bits in the same way again
Sure, you might have provided him with the single greatest gift on earth, but he will probably never be able to erase the mental image completely. Natural birth, while intensely beautiful and meaning can also be significantly worse than dad’s to be might have expected. Give him time and plenty of TLC and he will forget the gorier bits of the process with time. There’s no harm in having a laugh about it together!
Pregnancy is a joyous time of life, filled with miracles and the hope of new life. And while there might be a few potentially unpleasant things to look forward, if you are armed with your sense of humor this will be one of the greatest experiences on earth.